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“I Just Want to Die”: Desperate Med Student in Gaza Sends Messages to Doctor Denied Entry

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Israel’s military says it has established a foothold on the outskirts of Gaza City and is calling up an additional 60,000 reservists ahead of a full-scale invasion of Gaza’s largest urban area. This follows days of escalating airstrikes and artillery fire that have killed scores of Palestinians in one of the world’s most densely populated regions.

Dr. Mimi Syed is an emergency medicine physician who’s been on two medical missions in Gaza working in hospitals that were under Israeli siege and was just denied reentry into Gaza, mere hours before she was scheduled to travel there for a third medical mission. Syed was planning to bring in a small amount of aid to the besieged enclave. “As a doctor, I shouldn’t have to smuggle in baby formula,” she says. “I shouldn’t have to smuggle in protein.”

Syed also received harrowing voice memos from a Palestinian medical student in Gaza with whom she had become friends. The medical student lives in Gaza City and received evacuation orders as Israeli forces prepare to invade. “I no longer have any hope,” said the student in a recorded message.

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Transcript
This is a rush transcript. Copy may not be in its final form.

AMY GOODMAN: Israel’s military says it’s established a foothold on the outskirts of Gaza City and will call up an additional 60,000 reservists ahead of a full-scale invasion of Gaza’s largest urban area. This follows days of escalating airstrikes and artillery fire that have killed scores of Palestinians in one of the world’s most densely populated regions.

On Wednesday, Israeli attacks killed at least 81 Palestinians, including five killed in a strike on a tent in Gaza City’s Shati camp. The attack killed three children, 4, 7 and 9, along with their parents. Israel has killed another 20 Palestinians since dawn today. At least three more Palestinians have starved to death, bringing the total to 271.

Meanwhile, Israel has stepped up its demolition of Palestinian homes around Gaza City after ordering the forced displacement of its nearly 1 million inhabitants.

Well, our next guest is an emergency medicine physician who’s been on two medical missions in Gaza working in hospitals that were under Israeli siege. Dr. Mimi Syed received news Wednesday that Israel had denied her reentry into Gaza, just hours before she was scheduled to travel there for a third medical mission.

Ahead of her planned trip, Dr. Syed received a voice memo from a Palestinian medical student in Gaza City who she met on an earlier medical mission. The student asked to remain anonymous for safety.

PALESTINIAN MEDICAL STUDENT: It’s been over a week since the famine began, and honestly, I haven’t felt full even once. I’m constantly hungry all the day, every day. I sleep every day with hunger. I can’t take anymore, Mimi. You know, I just — I feel weak. I feel too weak to move. And I have to still continue my hospital training every single day without eating.

AMY GOODMAN: That’s a Palestinian medical student in Gaza City.

Dr. Mimi Syed joins us now from Amman, Jordan. In addition to her past work in Gaza, she’s also an assistant clinical professor at the University of Washington and Washington State University and a fellow of the American College of Emergency Physicians.

Welcome to Democracy Now!, Dr. Syed. I want to ask more about this Palestinian student and play more of the voice memo she sent to her. Describe the situation to us and who she is, who you work with. I know you can’t identify her because she is really concerned about security.

DR. MIMI SYED: Hi. Thanks for having me.

Yes, this is someone that has become a very close friend. We worked very closely together when I was there during my first medical mission. We spent all of our time together and some of the worst mass casualty incidents at that time. And we’ve kept in touch since and talk daily. And this is, you know, a sixth-year medical student that has been interrupted in her training over and over again, has been displaced with her family continually and is now being starved.

And I just got word that, you know, now she has just gotten evacuation orders. She is in Gaza City and is told that she has to evacuate again. And, you know, one of the voice memos I had sent in earlier in the week is she is refusing to leave. She doesn’t want to leave. You know, being displaced under being so exhausted and so starved, I can’t even imagine that, that cruelty, and how difficult it is.

AMY GOODMAN: So, let’s go back to that voice memo that she sent you, this Palestinian medical student in Gaza City, also from Tuesday.

PALESTINIAN MEDICAL STUDENT: Hello, my dear Mimi. Ever since I found out that you couldn’t enter Gaza because of the occupation’s refusal, I’ve been very sad. I had hoped that I will see you soon, and I started to feel better from my previous state of depression and sadness, but now I no longer have any hope. Everything feels over. We don’t even want you to come and help us. They are devils, in every sense of the word.

Mimi, I don’t want anything from life except death, because I truly believe I will find peace in it. I just want everyone to pray for me. I was really hoping to see you soon, but in Gaza, things never go the way we want. I wish there another chance to see you, my dear, hug you, but I know I won’t make it. I know. I love you so much, and I’m really sorry.

And another thing, Israel have already started occupying Gaza. I’m so — I’m so sad, and I’m so tired. We’re getting displaced again. Oh my god. I no longer have any hope. I just want to die. I just want to die right now. Oh my god. You know that love you so much, my dear, and it’s such an honor to know you. Love you. Don’t forget to pray for us. Thank you so much for everything.

AMY GOODMAN: Again, a Palestinian medical student in Gaza City in a voice note to our guest, Dr. Mimi Syed, emergency medical physician, who had hoped to not only, of course, reunite with this Palestinian student, but to serve a third medical mission in Gaza. Can you tell us why you were denied, Dr. Mimi Syed?

DR. MIMI SYED: You know, I wish I knew. None of us are ever given a reason for our denials. We simply get a message with our name in red, saying “denied,” and the organization that we were with. I’m traveling with another colleague of mine that’s a doctor in France, and she was also denied. So two out of the three in our group were denied. And one of them is a nurse, and he is not allowed to go in by himself, in the organization, so all three of us are not going to Gaza today. We were supposed to leave early this morning.

And again, when we try to inquire about the reasons why we are getting denied, when we’ve previously had clearance in the last two missions that I was in, we’re not given any reason. There is — it’s either — it’s random. You know, it’s always left to speculate why we are getting denied. Both my colleague and I that have been denied this time, we have been incredibly vocal about what we witnessed in Gaza, and have spoken out against the Israeli policies. But there’s really no rhyme or reason. And this continues to happen. In the last three months, there has been a significant increase in the number of denials for foreign physicians. And we are, again, never given a reason.

AMY GOODMAN: Well, really, you, in addition to providing medical services, have also become the eyes and ears for the Western community, because Israel denies international journalists the ability to go into Gaza. So, here you are describing, with medical precision, not only the condition of people, but for months have been describing the situation on the ground there. Can you talk about the aid you were trying to bring in?

DR. MIMI SYED: Yeah, I mean, again, Amy, you know, this is not aid that’s going to fix any of the problems in Gaza, right? This was not enough aid that that’s going to solve the starvation. But it was a little bit of aid that I could have brought in for the babies at least in the NICUs, the infants that are starving, that need baby formula. There hasn’t been protein in the market. Even when I was there back in August, there was no protein in the market last year. So I was bringing a little bit of chicken and tuna for people there. But, you know, the point of all of this is, I shouldn’t have to smuggle — as a doctor, I shouldn’t have to smuggle in baby formula. I shouldn’t have to smuggle in protein. This is not something that should be weaponized.

And to your point, I have to think, you know, one of the reasons why we keep getting denied is because the same reason why journalists get targeted and killed in Gaza, the same reason why foreign journalists are not allowed in Gaza. The same thing happened in March, when there was a break and ceasefire by Israel. There was a large denial, a large group of physicians that were going in that were denied right before they had this incredible invasion, like they’re about to do right now in Gaza City. And that’s, you know, one of the major reasons why we’re not allowed to go in.

This is, again, a systematic and deliberate destruction of the healthcare system. These healthcare workers have been working day in and day out, and most of them volunteering, and now being starved for almost two years. So, the little bit of relief that us foreign doctors can provide, that has also been revoked and taken away from them. And it’s nothing but cruelty, and it’s nothing but intentional.

AMY GOODMAN: You’ve called out the World Health Organization, the WHO, and the U.N., though the U.N. every almost day, António Guterres criticizes what Israel is doing in Gaza. Yes, most recently, we played his demand for a ceasefire. What do you want them to do? And then, of course, your own government — you come from Washington state — the United States government?

DR. MIMI SYED: Yeah, I mean, I think that, you know, when we’re getting refusals, there should be some pushback. There should be inquiry as to why we are getting refused. This is humanitarian aid being denied. I believe that is a war crime. That is a violation of human rights. And so, I expect some pushback. I expect some questioning. And, you know, everyone is responsible for it.

As far as my government goes, of course, we all know that the U.S. is the biggest supporter of this current genocide, as it’s been termed by many organizations. And, you know, my state, my own representative, which I am a constituent of, I may mention, Marilyn Strickland, has refused to meet me. I have requested multiple times to sit down with her, and she has refused to meet me. So, I feel very shameful that this is my government contributing to all of this. And it can stop tomorrow. If the United States decides that it can stop and it will stop, it can stop tomorrow.

AMY GOODMAN: Finally, we wanted to ask you about the State Department suspending all visitor visas from Gaza, including for children who need urgent medical care. Last week, we played our interview with Ms. Rachel, a well-known child educator, the Mister Rogers of our time, and she was singing and dancing with a little 3-year-old Palestinian girl from Gaza named Rahaf, who had lost both her legs and was wearing prosthetics. She had come in under this program that allows children to be treated, but that now has been paused.

DR. MIMI SYED: Yeah, again, this is a smear campaign, right? And I’ve seen the tweets that have been coming out. And, you know, all of this is based on racism and lies. I have nothing else that I can base it on, all of the things that I’m seeing. There is absolutely no basis to say that the people that are coming in have any ties to Hamas or anything of the sort. These are fabricated things. These are children. These are children with amputations, that have medical needs, significant medical needs, that are being evacuated with their parents, with their mothers. I don’t even know where to begin with that. How can you say that those children don’t deserve the medical care?

The things, the disgusting things that have been coming out, for example, from Laura Loomer on X, they’re based on hatred. They’re based on racism and lies and stereotypes. And that’s really what it is. And I think that people need to start seeing through that and not pushing forward this propaganda, because these are smear campaigns to prevent children from getting medical aid. And I think, as the U.S., since we are supplying the bombs, the ammunition to cause these injuries, it behooves us to help these children.

AMY GOODMAN: Dr. Mimi Syed, I want to thank you for being with us, emergency medical physician, denied entry on her third medical mission in Gaza, previously served as a doctor in Gaza twice in 2024, also an assistant clinical professor at University of Washington and Washington State University, fellow of the American College of Emergency Physicians, speaking to us today from Amman, Jordan.

Coming up, we go to Ramallah, to the occupied West Bank, where the Israeli government has approved a settlement plan to permanently divide the West Bank, cut it off from East Jerusalem, killing the idea, the possibility of a Palestinian state. Back in 20 seconds.

[break]

AMY GOODMAN: “Pavan Guru” by Sonny Singh in our Democracy Now! studio.

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